Trixie Tuesday: In The Center of The Fire

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.~Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I have been through many fires. Metaphorical fires, not literal but they were hot still the same. Many men in my life were unable to withstand the flames. Many friends in my life are no longer my friends because my flames were too hot for them and they felt singed by the heat. I find that many times in my life, other humans are not able to withstand the heat and fires of my life.

I used to be told it was me. I was the common denominator so it was my fault. I have learned through the years that some people endure more trauma than others. That is just life. It is not one’s fault. It just is.

As I have dealt with hotter fires in my life, so to speak, fires, like Cancer, twice, side effects of all the chemotherapy I did and now Hashimoto’s, I am finding more and more people who are able to stand near the fire at least.

Some people never have fires they have to put out. I used to be envious of them. Until I realized they were unable to grow. They did not know how to handle struggle when it came along. They had not built a stronger character.

While these things in my life have been excruciatingly hard, they have shaped me, molded me and made me the person I am today.

On my personal blog, I share some frustrations I had with my spouse. We all have them. No marriage is perfect. In meditating and looking over things though I realized something today…

He has stood in the fire and not shrank.

He has sat with me in pain and not tried to fix it.

He has dealt with nothing but putting out fires since we got married.

And he is still here.

It is rare to find a person who can do that.

I am ever thankful for that. Publicly and eternally I wanted to say that.

Even more than that, I want to share with those of you who also have had fires in your life. Maybe you have had your fair share of them. Maybe you have only had a few. Maybe you could write a book about it and no one will believe you. Maybe you have only had one.

Whether your fires have been one or many, I want to assure you something no one told me…

It is NOT your fault.

Just because you are the common denominator does not always mean you are the cause. It does not mean that you are always the reason the fires start. You may be the one always having to put them out and that’s all that others see. You may be the one always in the middle of the fire, but that doesn’t mean you started it.

I want you to know that and I want you to understand I know where you are coming from. I am tired of getting blamed for my fires. I’m sure you are too!

I am not saying there are not people who need to take ownership and if that is you, take ownership already! Fix your life and get your shit together!

However, you could just be the one in the middle and that sucks and I am sorry. I feel for you. I didn’t ask for the trauma in my life at age 8. I didn’t ask for it at age 10. I didn’t ask for it in my teens or in my twenties. I didn’t ask for Cancer either, but I got it. Those fires happened and I had to be strong enough to put them out. Sometimes all on my own with no one there to help me. You might be on your own feeling like you have no one either. It’s okay. It sucks, but you will be okay. You will be stronger for it.

If you are lucky, you will find people who stand next to you while your fire is blazing and rub their hands together and say “Let’s get some marshmallows!” 

You might find people who are willing to help you put your fires out.

You might find people who aren’t afraid to get a little singed with you because they know they will be okay too. They won’t shrink back.

The people who can sit in pain with you and not try to FIX YOU and just love you for who you are, fires and all are the best and they are out there!

If you can’t find them, maybe it is time to become one!

~XoXo Trisha Trixie

 

 

 

 

 

 

For the full quote from The Invitation:

“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”

― Oriah Mountain Dreamer, https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/9557-it-doesn-t-interest-me-what-you-do-for-a-living

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March 3, 2020March 2, 2020 by TrishaTrixie™ Categories: Authenticity, BadAssery, Excellence, Inner peace, Lessons Learned, Overcoming, The Trixie Times: TrixieLand Life, Trixie Tips TuesdaysTags: OMD, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Overcoming, Standing in the Center of The Fire, The Invitation

The $1000 Club and Why I Say “No Thanks”

 

Everywhere I turn there are all these great conferences, coaches, courses and such but every single one of them is over $1000! I find this fee to be absurd! What if feels like to me is other people trying to steal my hard earned $$ for their own benefit. This is NOT the way I want to work this year. I want to offer up my services organically for those who need it but maybe can’t afford those $1000 programs. I know I can’t. How’s a gal supposed to get along in life and biz if I am always having to shell out $1000?

I go to a network function and the opt-in at the end for a gal, just like me, for her course, is, yep, you guessed it $1000 or more.

I go to a start up week event and the opt-in for the next level of the event is yep, $1000

I find this to be absurd!

They get with “get rich quick” schemes and “follow THIS PLAN” and “you too could be this rich” and yet people fall for it. How do I know people fall for it? I see my friends shelling out dollars after dollars, all the while they are struggling to pay for kids schools and meals and take care of car rides and baby sitting and wondering why none of their friends want to help them watch their kids. How can they not see that the only ones who are making the money are the ones at the top who have already been doing this for years?

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying there is nothing to be learned by these people who have had success. There is. However. Buy their book. Watch their podcast. Keep your butt at home where you can afford it. There is so much to be learned online. In books. On You Tube. Via Skype. And so on. I just do not understand why people need to spend money on airline tickets, hotels, conferences, and such. It all just seems like brainwashing to me.

The “Thousandeers” as I like to call them, the ones telling you to give them $1000 or more have figured out…”Hey, if I get 200 people to give me $1000 Ill make $200,000 without batting an eye. I don’t have to work as hard and all I have to do is act like I know what I am talking about. I could sell ice cream to an Eskimo, so that should be easy!”

See, they are good at selling.

You, are good at listening.

They are good at persuasion.

You are good at opening your wallet.

You want what they’ve got.

you think by giving them your money you will get what they’ve got.

However, just by giving them you’re money, you fail to realize, you don’t have their life, their bills (or lack therof) their accountant, their lifestyle, and so on.

I am in no way trying to be a downer. I am not trying to be negative, although I am sure to them I am being just that.

I want to EDUCATE you.

You DO NOT NEED TO GIVE THEM $1000 or more.

You do not NEED what they have.

What I am trying to say is the same thing as what Glinda the good witch told Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz….

“you had the power all along my dear…”

YOU already have the answer you need inside you.

You don’t need someone to tell you how to have a great relationship.

You don’t need someone to tell you how to manage your money.

You don’t need someone to tell you how to do anything.

Guidance.

Now, THAT, you may need.

There are plenty of people, honest, good people who won’t take you for all you’ve got to help you do that. I know them. I am friends with them. They are in Chambers of commerce most likely in your area. Local folks. Mom and pop chops. A computer repair guy down the street who can fix that computer. An accountant friend who can help you manage your money and pay yourself in your own business. A healer, who can do amazing sound healing on you. An intuitive counselor, who can help you heal your broken heart.

Please consider this. Stop making the wealthy more wealthy. Help the locals support the locals.

Use sites like http://www.nextdoor.com and http://www.thumbtack.com and look around your neighborhood to find your needs. Talk to friends and family. look online. Ask GOOGLE or other sites for answers. If you are a business, talk to Chamber of Commerce or Network groups. and when you hear those crazy $1000 or more Opt-ins. Get up walk in or turn your paper over. Say no thanks.

Save your dollars and cents…common sense…

not only will it save the cents in your pocket…but it will save the sense in your soul as well.

Xoxo,

Trisha Trixie

June 16, 2016 by TrishaTrixie™ Categories: Authenticity, Choose Fabulous, Fabulous Fauna, Hints, Inner peace, Tips, Tricks, Trisha TrixieTags: chmaber of commerce, glinda the good witch, guidance, Local, next door, oz, ruby red slippers, support local, thumbtack, wizard of oz

The Door to The Present: The Key of Inner Peace

A long time ago, back in 2011, I had a dream about doors. In this dream I walked up to a door and I opened it. I came upon a long hallway filled with many other doors. Each door was different.

One door was see thru

One door had an easy handle on it

One door had a lock on it

One door was a french door and had two doors that opened inward

One door had a thousand locks on it of varying types and sizes and colors

Each door was different…

There was door after door.

As I walked down the hallways, I would try to open some of the doors.

Some doors wold open easy and I would find myself down ANOTHER hallway with MORE doors or MANY different handles, locks, colors etc.

A few nights later, I would have the dream again and so on.

One night, I woke up and sketched all these doors.

Later, in a metaphysical course at the School of Metaphysics in Des Moines, Iowa I was with someone who was taking a dream interpretation course. I asked the leader about this dream.

They said this is my life, my opportunities, my challenges, my world. the World of Trisha Trixie and it was showing me how life is filled with many doors. Some others open for you and let you in. Some you have to knock on and allow others to open. Some you have to have the key. Some you have to go through a few doors before you get to where you are going. Some have windows so you can see whats inside before you open and some you just have to take a chance and see what is on the other side…and so on and so forth… the explanations went on.

Fast forward until now…

I have been reading books on mindfulness, peace, inner peace, being at one, being present, being in the here and now….

As I was reading Thich Nhat Hanh  this morning, it hit me…it was like a flashback to a dream…

I have been mostly at peace for some time now since 2011. Many things have happened for me and my world has changed, it has opened up, it has become different and new and fabulous in so many ways…and now I know why…

I had an epiphany…

Those doors, those doors that I dreamt about so long ago, those doors are the doors of life…

Doors of happiness

Doors of fulfillment

Doors of contentment

Doors of success

Doors of Friendship

Doors of change

Doors of elation

Doors of opportunity….

and I have gone through them to the other side…

Well, I am not quite FULLY there, however, I realized this morning that I have opened MANY of those doors. I found the key to some of them, like in a video game, while walking along, BUMP I walked over something and a bubble popped over my head and stated clearly what it was “You have found the Key!”  Which then I tried that key and other key in every door I could until a door opened. I did this over and over until other doors opened…

My key ring is full of random keys that have oepned many doors. I have been carrying them around with me, thinking I might need them again…what if I get locked out…what if I need to help someone else get thru?

Today, however, I dropped those keys so I could pick up something else. (you know in video game you can only hold so many things. Sometimes you have to drop one to get something better)

Today, I picked up the ONE KEY I need for them all. I do need to hold to it tightly, so I am making a metaphorical lanyard and hanging this key around my neck. The lanyard is simple, nothing fancy. It doesn’t need to be. Because THE KEY is the most beautiful thing in the world. I know it will always be that way. I just need to see it for what it is and I will see it as beautiful, wonderful, magical, because it is.

It is the

The Key of Inner Peace

Nothing else matters when you have Inner Peace.

Lady at the store cuts you off and gets in front of you? No biggie, I have Inner peace. Maybe she was more in a hurry than I was.

Somebody steals from you? My motto always has been and still is, the fat that when others steal from me, I know they will get their kharama AND I feel like they must have needed it more than me. I thank God for helping me get rid of that item so it could open the way for something better.

I am no expert on all of this, of course.

It is a recent revelation.

Perhaps five years from now, who knows where my enlightenment might be.

I can say however, that for my dream of doors, a realization swept over me, like a cool breeze on a hot day, that the answer to that dream is the key of inner peace.

I have felt such contentment lately, such bliss, such elation, such happiness….

Where did that come from?

The fact that I have now learned to let go and let god.

Turn the page, as my mother says.

 

Go wash your hands and visualize your problems, worries, issues etc down the drain and come out clean, refreshed and happy. this is a visualization I do often and have since i was 16 years old.

Today is a new day. Each moment is new and fresh. Each lesson is there for a reason and above all

All you can do is take it in stride and be in the moment…

Every Moment…Be Present

Whether it is good or bad that is happening to you, be present, take it in and breathe and move on…

Each day we are given choices. choices to allow things, people, places, etc to affect us in a variety of ways. WE can allow ourselves to be angry, happy, sad, and so on. The choice is up to us.

We are a result of the choices we have and will make.

Choose Wisely…and remember my motto…

When given the option of being fabulous, why would you choose anything else?

February 17, 2016February 16, 2016 by TrishaTrixie™ Categories: Be Fabulous, Be here now, Choose Fabulous, Fabulous Friday, Hints, Inner peace, Mindfulness, Steps to Success, Tips, Tricks, Trisha TrixieTags: Be At one, Be Fabulous, Be here now, Be Present, Change, Choice, Choices, Choose Wisely, contentment, Doors, Dream, Elation, Embrace the moment, French Door, Friendship, Fulfillment, Good or Bad, Happiness, Keys, Life, Live in the Moment, Lock, Locks, Metaphysics, Mindfulness, Opportunities, opportunity, School of Metaphyisics, The Key of Inner Peace, Thich Nhat Hanh 1 Comment