What You REALLY Need To Hear

What You REALLY Need To Hear

 

What you  REALLY need to hear is that it will be okay.

What you REALLY need to hear is to be positive.

What you REALLY need to hear is that it is NOT the end of the world.

What you REALLY need to hear is that we will get through this, TOGETHER!

 

What you DON’T need to hear.

What you DON’T need to hear right now is more news.

What you DON’T need to hear is that more shelves are empty

What you DON’T need to hear is that more people are infected or that more people have died.

 

 

Do yourself a favor…

Turn off the news.

Log off social media.

Turn on some music.

Go outside and get some fresh air.

Do something different.

Learn something different

 

Right now the world is creating a whole new world.

Maybe now is the perfect time for you to create a whole new you?

What have you always wanted to do but never had to time? Read a book cover to cover? Camp in your home? Make a fort? Learn a new skill? What else? Do that. Unless it is traveling, not much is stopping you but yourself. So much is free out there, you can teach yourself so many new and great wonderful things. You can go to a museum, online. You can listen to a concert, online. You can meditate or do yoga, online.

The universe is telling us itis time to slow down.

The world is changing.

AS a cancer patient, let me explain something to you… There is no such thing as “going back to normal.” there is no normal. There is what you will hear is called a “New Normal” but it still is not normal. Normal is a setting on a washing machine.

We are evolving.

It is time for you to evolve to.

That may not be what you wanted to hear, but I know in my hear it is what you NEEDED to hear.

Trisha Trixie

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Crusader for Humanity

Are You Choosing Love at This Moment?

 

Love will keep us together if we remember to exercise it. Choose Love.

In the next few days, weeks and maybe longer we will all be faced with decisions in our lives that will affect others. Some immediately and some long term. I ask you when you are making those decisions before you act on them, think about those choices. I ask you, no I implore you, to choose love.

Before you stockpile for your family only, ask yourself, “Am I choosing Love at this moment?”

Before you go out instead of social distancing, ask yourself, “Am I choosing Love at this moment?”

Before you go to work instead of working from home ask yourself, “Am I choosing Love at this moment?” 

You may think I am being overly dramatic in my words and maybe to you, a healthy, uncompromised person, maybe I am.

But I am a two-time cancer fighter and barely out of my second bout with it. I now have Hashimoto’s autoimmune disease. If I got sick, it would be dire. There are others like me or who are older, have illnesses like mine or worse. We are not as healthy as you, and you may be putting us at risk.

I am writing this hoping it is a matter of “I didn’t think about it that way.” Instead of a matter of “I could care less.”

All I am asking is that you stop and think about your actions, your words, your behavior.

We have the capability to get through this on one condition…if we do it together.

Not just the United States, I mean the World!

We the WORLD can get through this together!

I truly believe we can accomplish that through love.

Love for ourselves AND love for our fellow man.

Be a good human.

Be kind.

Choose Love.

~XoXo Trisha Trixie

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Crusader for Humanity

 

Don’t Be a Cold Turkey Friend

If my title intrigued you I hope you will stay to read the rest because this subject has been weighing on me for quite some time. I wasn’t even sure which blog to write it on since I have this blog that reaches a larger audience and my personal blog that is more of my close-knit friends, though it is open to the public.

Let backtrack a bit for those who don’t know my recent journey.

In recent years I have had cancer, not once, but twice. When I first found out I had cancer, most of my friends and some of my family rallied around me to be supportive. I went into remission for a year and then sadly my cancer came back with a vengeance. The second time it came around, I was more involved in Toastmasters and more friends rallied around, more family rallied and more letters and support showed. This time we figured out how to video chat, how to be a better support to me and help me with my needs.

Both times, once I was well, friends went dark, the family fell off the face of the earth and I was left in the dark cold turkey.

I am a strong, resilient person and I know I should take it as a compliment that people feel like once I am well that I can handle things on my own.

The thing is, what they don’t realize is how hard it is to move forward after you have had all that support to be left with no support.

  • No more video chats
  • No more calls
  • The letters slow down or come to halt
  • The care packages stop
  • The check-ins to see how you are don’t happen
  • The soft way people talk to you stops
  • The compassion seems to have left the building

Even the strongest person has a hard time recovering after a trauma like cancer and when all the compassionate caring stops, it is like going through withdrawals.

If you have followed my blog for a while or you know me, you know I am going to be upfront and honest about how I feel.

Vulnerable and all.

I feel like I am having to quit “attention” from others’ care and love, cold turkey.

Since last fall when I was told I was cancer-free and the tests were good, I have been severely depressed and struggling.

Imagine a person suffering from an addiction to a drug and then they are removed from it cold turkey with nothing.

My drug, however, was compassion from others. That compassion was a swarming form of attention and to be honest, not having it, is hard. I miss it.

Deep down in my heart, I know my friends care and love me. The “addict” per se in me, however, is saying, I don’t matter anymore and I only mattered when it was life-threatening. I know in reality that it is just negative self-talk and untrue.

I am talking to my therapist to refill that void with other things again.

  • Doing service for others
  • Doing good for others
  • Remembering my purpose and meaning in this life and fulfilling that purpose
  • Getting back involved in Toastmasters
  • Developing a workout routine
  • Going for walks on a regular basis
  • Meeting with friends or calling friends
  • Reaching out to family
  • Scheduling more travel and road trips
  • Finding retreats or getaways I might be interested in

While I know it’s on me to lift myself out of this depression and being who I am, I will.

I wanted to write this for those of you who might be currently supporting or befriending someone who is going through Cancer or any other severe illness right now or who might have a friend who just went into remission.

If things are still looking grim you are probably still there for them, helping them out, being support and I am sure they are thankful for that and I am thankful to you for being there for me and thankful to my friends who were there for me.

If you want to know how to best support your friends while they are going from “I had cancer or this life-threatening illness” to “I survived and I am going to make it”…

Here are some key ways to support them AFTER they are well so you don’t put them into a state of Cold Turkey shock like I am going through:

  • Text them every now and then to let them know you still care and are happy they are well
  • Send them a card that shows that little bit of extra effort that you cared enough to write something and put a stamp on it.
  • Call them if you can. If you were able to make the time before, try to make the time again, even if it’s not as much.
  • Schedule a visit with them or an outing together. They are finally well and able to get out of the house. Go have fun with them

Remember that even though they are well, they might still be scared about their illness returning and still need your friendship. Also, the people you may think are the strongest are probably the ones who are not ones to burden others with their problems, so they won’t tell you when they need you, or are sad or are depressed.

Robin Williams surprised the nation by taking his life.

Kate Spade’s father said he spoke to her earlier in the day and she was planning a trip.

You just never know.

Don’t stop showing your friends you care, especially those who have gone through some pretty major things in their life, like trauma or illness.

Those are the ones who really need you the most.

When you go cold-turkey on them, it is like quitting the hardest drug they ever had to quit because whether you realize or not, your friendship means more to them than you could possibly imagine.

You don’t have to be there 100%, just don’t go from 100% to 0% in a day.

~XoXo Trisha Trixie

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Crusader for Humanity

Trixie Tuesday: When You Just Can’t

Somedays, you just CAN’T!

Yesterday, which would have been my Trixie Tuesday, I just couldn’t. Anything.

I canceled my Ukelele lesson, I canceled my appointments, I pulled the blackout curtains back to where they were, I turned the heating blanket back on and I literally crawled back into the covers and stayed there pretty much all day.

I watch the Bachelor Episode I missed.

I watched some other TV on Hulu.

I slept.

I fed the kitten I am pet-sitting and my cats. I tried to play with the kitten and the cats to get some joy in that. Nope. Back to bed, I went.

I don’t talk about my other issues often because I have been facing and dealing with my Cancer so much in the past few years that the other issues kind of got jumbled in all of it.

The issues I am referring to are:

my Bi-polar,

my Aspergers,

and now my Thyroid,

which does not play well with those other ones, by the way.

The Bipolar diagnosis has been up and down. One time they will say I have it and then they say I don’t. Another time they will say I have Cyclothymia, which is similar, but because I am able to get myself out of my depression, this is why they say I don’t have Bipolar.

The Aspergers and Bipolar are not a good combo because being an Aspie is hard enough. I have no filter. I have a lack of boundary understanding. (this is also a bipolar issue) Now add the Thyroid. As of late, they said I have Hypothyroidism/Hashimotos Auto-Immune Disease. That adds a layer of depression.

Then add my pain issues:

I have Degenerative Disk Disease in my neck and lower back.

I am always in pain. Always. I just don’t go around griping about it to everyone. I live at a level 6-8 pain level nearly all the time. I do what I can.

I am human.

I have hard days and I have good days.

I have days that I crash and just can’t. For years I did not speak about these days. Since having cancer twice I feel it is my duty to help others. I have been given the gift of empathy. I know what others are going through because I have been there myself. A LOT in life. I mean…A LOT.

A huge part of helping others is being open and vulnerable.

How many other people are dealing with things like I am and feel like they are alone?

How many others feel like no one understands?

How many others are happy most of the time, but when they are struggling or not happy their friends say “cheer up.” 

We need to be able to have our down days too!

Life cannot be all sunshine and lollipops all the time.

We must know the bitterness to enjoy the sweet.

I am here to tell you…it’s okay!

Some days…you just CAN’T. 

Take the day.

Just don’t take too many days. Make sure you pick yourself back up. Dust yourself back off. Pull up your bootstraps. Ride into the sunset. Tomorrow is a new day.

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XoXo ~Trisha Trixie