What Being Real Really Means: 10 Steps to Reality

I had a friend tell me today that I am more real in Colorado. As a person who always talks about being real and authentic I had to really think about it. I did admit that when I lived in Iowa, I didn’t feel I could be 100% me. In all honesty, I don’t think anyone is 100% real. Present company included. I will say that in Iowa I was a diluted version of myself…ostentatious enough to get noticed…learned through the years what not to say

What being real means to me:

  • Be Transparent: Being real means being transparent. People are human. Peaople are real. Things happen. Hiding the truth of what is going on in your life or business doesn’t help you it hurts you.
  • Be Extraordinary: Normal  is a setting on a washing machine. Stop trying to be like everyone else and just be yourself. I know, it’s scary as hell. I actually used to be an introvert. Yes, me…shy!! Do you know it is so hard to believe? Because I stopped worrying about others and little by little let myself show!
  • Live your Passion: I hear all day, all the time “I hate my job. I wish I could quit. I wish I could what I love.” You can. Even if you have to do it part time at first, start doing it. I am more of a risk taker, though I know not everyone does or can think that way. Live you passion and your passion will love you.
  • Doing What You Love : What can you do for clients in person? What can you offer online? What can you offer to those who are remote? People often laugh because they say I always have my hand in multiple things. Well, at least one of them isnt trouble. I have my fashion business which feeds my right brain and lets out my fashion needs. I have my mindfulness business, which allows me to help others design the life they desire with tools from the Law of Attraction. I have my modeling business, which is more of a hobby but sometimes I get paid for it. As well as other various things I make and sell or do. Regardless, I always have multiple ways to bring in money, no matter what the time of year or market is.
  • Ask for help: Did you know that every time you fail to ask others for help you are denying the opportunity to serve? Stop being so prideful that you don’t ask. Get over yourself. Find someone, at least one person, you feel you would be ok asking. Then ask others.
  • Be organic:  Be you. Truly You. Not the glossed over, pesticide protected versions of yourself. Being organic means taking the time to do things, yourself. Though I use automation in a lot of what I do, I still devote a portion of my night and morning to posting on Twitter, GPlus, and other social media sites. Not to mention the blogs I write on. I write. Not a bot or a tool, but me. I love to write and blogging has been a fabulous outlet for me, as well as my businesses.
  • Choose to be you:  Who are you? Are you a rockstar? Are you a geek? Are you a comic nerd? Are you an artist? Are you all of them? Share who you are and I promise you, others like you will start flocking in your direction!
  • Give back:  How do you help another? What do you do to give back? To your community? School? Kids? Parents? Yourself? If all you are doing is work, work, work or play, play, play neither bodes well with  universe. To have more, you need to be grateful for what you have. To have others give to you, you need to give somewhere too. For me, the homeless touches my heart because I was homeless. Lived in my car, peed in a supermarket restroom, bathed out of a sink, kind of homeless. We lost our job and my food storage lasted awhile but eventually it gave out too. I have other area I give back as well, but all of them mean something to me. In addition to good feelings, you are helping another by your acts of service.
  • Be beautiful on the inside and outside:  There is nothing more ugly than a beautiful person, who is ugly on the inside. Nourish your soul. Be kind. Treat other fairly. Turn the other cheek. Love equally. Be tenderhearted. Think of other feelings. Read, learn, grow and do anything that will nourish your soul to be lovely.
  • Be grateful:  You never get more of what you want if you aren’t grateful for what you have. Have a gratitude practice, no matter what form-online, in a book, in a journal, outloud, whatever! Be thankful!

These of course, are all my opinions, my thoughts on the subject. I am sure will find many others in many other places. I leave you with my favorite thought from the Velveteen Rabbit:

“Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that 
happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to 
play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'

'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit. 

'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.' 

'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked,or bit by bit?' 

'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. 

It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who 
break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. 
Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. 
But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't 
be ugly, except to people who don't understand.” 

― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

REAL

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5 Steps to Overcoming Co-Dependency & Stop Living Your Life in Bondage

 

“Codependents are ‘addicted,’ not to a destructive substance, but to a destructive pattern of relating to other people.”

Far too often I meet, see and find people who are living their life win bondage without even knowing it. They are oblivious to the negativity they encounter everyday. They always think everything is their fault. They wonder why drama and chaos keeps happening around them. I resonate with them so well, because until 2011, that was my life. I was always concerned with making others happy. I didn’t understand why negative things kept happening to me and around me. Others would say it was my fault and I never thought to challenge them.

Until one day, I did.

From that moment forward my life changed. My mission in my business is to truly help others to overcome. Overcome the heartaches. Overcome loss. Overcome negative self talk.

Today I want to talk to you about Co-Dependency. If you are unsure if you are a Co-Dependent, scroll down towards the bottom of this post and check off the answers on the poll that resonate with you or you feel are like you.

If you already KNOW you are co-dependent, read on…

Take the test below if you want to see if you or someone you know is codependent

  1. Do an “Ideal Relationship Exercise”.  Take out two sheets of paper. Meditate, pray or sit quietly and really think about what your perfect or ideal relationship would be. One the first sheet, write down all the things that you want out of a perfect relationship. Or ask yourself “If I could have the relationship I really wanted, what would it be like, look like, etc?”  Then write down what you think of. Don’t stop at 10 or 20 or 100, just make a list and type or write it down. Now, when you have exhausted all the things you want out of a perfect relationship, write down what your current relationship looks like. Write down all the positive and the negative. Now, look at the current list. What are the negative things? Do they outweigh the bad? Are they deal breakers on their own? If not or you aren’t sure, take your list and put it next to the Ideal list. Do they match up? If not, or if the cons of your current relationship outweigh the bad, you may need to end it.
  2. Challenge your beliefs and self-defeating thoughts about your self-worth. You don’t need to prove anything to another person about your worth. You are who you are. Those who really love you will love you for who you are and not try to mold you or change you.
  3. Notice your negative self-judgments. Be kind and compassionate toward yourself. What negative self talk are you telling yourself? Recognize these thoughts and shoo them away by acknowledging that they are untruths. Write down, tell yourself, whatever you need to solidify the real you. Who are you? What do you deserve? What talents do you have? What traits do you have? If you are one who always comes back to a compliment with a negative comment, stop that bad habit now. What kind things are people always saying about you? Take compliments well and say thank you.
  4. Tell yourself on a regular basis that it’s ok to ask and accept help from others. Allowing others to help you is a sign of strength not weakness. Ask your friends if you need help with something. Reach out to someone or a therapist who can help you through this process. Search online for resources and tools that might help you.
  5. You deserve a loving, mature, honest and real relationship. You know what you want. You know what you deserve. You know what you are willing to accept. You already know the answer (which is why you might be on my blog, hint hint) to the questions that you seek. The answer is directly in front of you.

Answer these questions on Co-Dependency. (You may or may not have all of these. Go thru the list and see how many you have.)

**If you checked more than 5, the answer is yes. If you checked ALL of them, I would suggest finding a therapist in your area and finding a resource who can truly help you deal with these issues. If you are a resourceful, self driven person, and don’t need a therapist or are not a fan of therapy, consider and Intuitive Counselor or other similar resources. There are also many resources and help aids online. Google “Co-Dependency” for ideas, courses, etc.**

XoXo,

Trisha Trixie

Posterchild Trisha Trixie is a Life Designer (Life coach) helping 
others to Design the Life they Desire by overcoming the issues standing in their way. Though acknowledgement and acceptance, she harness the Law of Attraction Principle help others manifest the miracles they desire in their lives. She currently lives in Centennial, Co with her 
newlywed Spouse(HunEPants) and her three cats, Mr. Booties, My. Dude and Miss Ivy.