Trixie Tuesday: In The Center of The Fire

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.~Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I have been through many fires. Metaphorical fires, not literal but they were hot still the same. Many men in my life were unable to withstand the flames. Many friends in my life are no longer my friends because my flames were too hot for them and they felt singed by the heat. I find that many times in my life, other humans are not able to withstand the heat and fires of my life.

I used to be told it was me. I was the common denominator so it was my fault. I have learned through the years that some people endure more trauma than others. That is just life. It is not one’s fault. It just is.

As I have dealt with hotter fires in my life, so to speak, fires, like Cancer, twice, side effects of all the chemotherapy I did and now Hashimoto’s, I am finding more and more people who are able to stand near the fire at least.

Some people never have fires they have to put out. I used to be envious of them. Until I realized they were unable to grow. They did not know how to handle struggle when it came along. They had not built a stronger character.

While these things in my life have been excruciatingly hard, they have shaped me, molded me and made me the person I am today.

On my personal blog, I share some frustrations I had with my spouse. We all have them. No marriage is perfect. In meditating and looking over things though I realized something today…

He has stood in the fire and not shrank.

He has sat with me in pain and not tried to fix it.

He has dealt with nothing but putting out fires since we got married.

And he is still here.

It is rare to find a person who can do that.

I am ever thankful for that. Publicly and eternally I wanted to say that.

Even more than that, I want to share with those of you who also have had fires in your life. Maybe you have had your fair share of them. Maybe you have only had a few. Maybe you could write a book about it and no one will believe you. Maybe you have only had one.

Whether your fires have been one or many, I want to assure you something no one told me…

It is NOT your fault.

Just because you are the common denominator does not always mean you are the cause. It does not mean that you are always the reason the fires start. You may be the one always having to put them out and that’s all that others see. You may be the one always in the middle of the fire, but that doesn’t mean you started it.

I want you to know that and I want you to understand I know where you are coming from. I am tired of getting blamed for my fires. I’m sure you are too!

I am not saying there are not people who need to take ownership and if that is you, take ownership already! Fix your life and get your shit together!

However, you could just be the one in the middle and that sucks and I am sorry. I feel for you. I didn’t ask for the trauma in my life at age 8. I didn’t ask for it at age 10. I didn’t ask for it in my teens or in my twenties. I didn’t ask for Cancer either, but I got it. Those fires happened and I had to be strong enough to put them out. Sometimes all on my own with no one there to help me. You might be on your own feeling like you have no one either. It’s okay. It sucks, but you will be okay. You will be stronger for it.

If you are lucky, you will find people who stand next to you while your fire is blazing and rub their hands together and say “Let’s get some marshmallows!” 

You might find people who are willing to help you put your fires out.

You might find people who aren’t afraid to get a little singed with you because they know they will be okay too. They won’t shrink back.

The people who can sit in pain with you and not try to FIX YOU and just love you for who you are, fires and all are the best and they are out there!

If you can’t find them, maybe it is time to become one!

~XoXo Trisha Trixie

 

 

 

 

 

 

For the full quote from The Invitation:

“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”

― Oriah Mountain Dreamer, https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/9557-it-doesn-t-interest-me-what-you-do-for-a-living

March 3, 2020March 2, 2020 by TrishaTrixie™ Categories: Authenticity, BadAssery, Excellence, Inner peace, Lessons Learned, Overcoming, The Trixie Times: TrixieLand Life, Trixie Tips TuesdaysTags: OMD, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Overcoming, Standing in the Center of The Fire, The Invitation

Trixie Tuesday: When You Just Can’t

Somedays, you just CAN’T!

Yesterday, which would have been my Trixie Tuesday, I just couldn’t. Anything.

I canceled my Ukelele lesson, I canceled my appointments, I pulled the blackout curtains back to where they were, I turned the heating blanket back on and I literally crawled back into the covers and stayed there pretty much all day.

I watch the Bachelor Episode I missed.

I watched some other TV on Hulu.

I slept.

I fed the kitten I am pet-sitting and my cats. I tried to play with the kitten and the cats to get some joy in that. Nope. Back to bed, I went.

I don’t talk about my other issues often because I have been facing and dealing with my Cancer so much in the past few years that the other issues kind of got jumbled in all of it.

The issues I am referring to are:

my Bi-polar,

my Aspergers,

and now my Thyroid,

which does not play well with those other ones, by the way.

The Bipolar diagnosis has been up and down. One time they will say I have it and then they say I don’t. Another time they will say I have Cyclothymia, which is similar, but because I am able to get myself out of my depression, this is why they say I don’t have Bipolar.

The Aspergers and Bipolar are not a good combo because being an Aspie is hard enough. I have no filter. I have a lack of boundary understanding. (this is also a bipolar issue) Now add the Thyroid. As of late, they said I have Hypothyroidism/Hashimotos Auto-Immune Disease. That adds a layer of depression.

Then add my pain issues:

I have Degenerative Disk Disease in my neck and lower back.

I am always in pain. Always. I just don’t go around griping about it to everyone. I live at a level 6-8 pain level nearly all the time. I do what I can.

I am human.

I have hard days and I have good days.

I have days that I crash and just can’t. For years I did not speak about these days. Since having cancer twice I feel it is my duty to help others. I have been given the gift of empathy. I know what others are going through because I have been there myself. A LOT in life. I mean…A LOT.

A huge part of helping others is being open and vulnerable.

How many other people are dealing with things like I am and feel like they are alone?

How many others feel like no one understands?

How many others are happy most of the time, but when they are struggling or not happy their friends say “cheer up.” 

We need to be able to have our down days too!

Life cannot be all sunshine and lollipops all the time.

We must know the bitterness to enjoy the sweet.

I am here to tell you…it’s okay!

Some days…you just CAN’T. 

Take the day.

Just don’t take too many days. Make sure you pick yourself back up. Dust yourself back off. Pull up your bootstraps. Ride into the sunset. Tomorrow is a new day.

XoXo ~Trisha Trixie

February 26, 2020 by TrishaTrixie™ Categories: Lessons Learned, Overcoming, The Trixie Times: TrixieLand Life, Trisha Trixie, Trixie Tidbits, Trixie Tips TuesdaysTags: Aspergers, Aspie, Bipolar, Can't, Cancer, Cyclothymia, Depression, Hashimotos, Human, Real, Thyroid, Vulnerable

You want to be small fry or a big fry?

You wanna make $10 or $10,000?

That is the ultimate question.  Indie sites, like Etsy, Farmer’s Markets, and Vendors shows as well as many of these other small handmade businesses are great. You are making money here and there. But after talking with a mentor this week the big question loomed out there.

do I want to do my passion and potentially make no money or do I want to be in business? This is the difference i the $10/$10,000…seriously.

Making money on Etsy is fine for some. It’s $10 here or there. If you are fine with that, then great. I have no problem with that. Maybe you only desire to have a little spending money. Or maybe you just want to earn something for what you love to do.

However, if you want to play with the big kids here is a few things I learned yesterday I actually had no real awareness about til now…

Today I am doing research on Business Models. This is not a model like walking down a runway. I am talking about the Business Model for your company or Brand…aka what you are selling.

• For every product you make you have to look at it as 1,000 items not one.
• If Modcloth, or Rebel Circus or QVC Lori Greiner from Shark Tank Modcloth wanted to sell my product I would need to make 1,000 of the same item to be sold in their inventory. That is how it works. (Ok I kinda knew a bit about this but not as much as I learned yesterday)
• Every product you decide to make you have to ask yourself if this product is worthy of 1,000 of the same item being made?
• Is this product something you want known as your brand?
• Is this product something you desire to make 1,000 of?
• Then there are the channels….
  • That is where you are selling your product or item
  • Retail
  • Consignment
  • Drop Ship
  • Etsy
  • Goodsmiths
  • Square Market
  • Shopify
  • Other
• This is all alot to take in even for me and I know there is SO much m ore I am not even touching on because well, honestly, I don’t know it all. 🙂

I found this online and really like the explanation of it so I thought I would share…

• 
• I also found this explanation of Goods on Wiki that I think is helpful as well http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Private_good 
• Learning about your Goods and what you have and where it fits in this stream is a good thing to know.
• I think it makes a difference in how you move forward…
• I am currently looking up Business Models of brands I like and that inspired me.
• Uniqlo is one of them. Here is their model
• 

I am a lover of Modcloth. So when I was doing research for this blog I found this little diddy and fell in love with the story. Check out how Modcloth made it here http://mashable.com/2013/08/13/modcloth-scaling/

I am going to drop off this subject with this little board I saw and think this might be a good thing to find inmy notes from Leonie Dawson and Right Brain business Plan…I have something like this from them..Might be a good place to restart my engines..

Now we move onto to channels (or what I am learning about them anyway)

This is the old way

This is the new way (or so it seems to be the most)…Shop Channel sites like ones I mentioned earlier

• Etsy
• Goodsmiths
• SquareMarket
• Shopify
• IndieMade
• other (What are you using that I don’t have in this list so I can update my list…please comment)

My mentor challenged me to a couple of “homework” items to make some changes to change my thinking and how I am doing business based on the answer I gave him..

Which was..

I want to make $10,000, be in business and get off this presipus I am on.

Step one:

I need to make it easier for my customers to buy off my website. I have a lot of people who say they love my site www.trishatrixie.com 

but the feedback from my customers is they have a hard time finding out HOW to buy things and WHERE to get things, HOW to order a custom Apron or Accesorry and so forth.

So I have to fix that.

I have these channels:

Brick and Mortor Stores:

Inspired Locally

Burlesque Hall of Fame

Green Goods for the Home

then I have two channels for online stores

Goodsmiths for my Comic Creations (Actions Aprons/ Superhero Inspired pieces etc)

and

Square Market for everything else

(I have two because Goodsmiths does not currently have an Andoird Swipe and Square does. However I have an Itouch and am going to test out if I can use the Swipe on the Itouch and that might alleviate some things)

then I have a Fashion Question Form for them to order Custom (but yet even that form is still unclear)

However people aren’t getting it…which leads to step two

Step Two…

Clean out old inventory if it did not sell.

Post pictures of current inventory ON my website and lead /drive them to the online channels

Have the picture DIRECT link to the BUY page of that item (why didn’t I think of that!!!?)

Step Three:

Take time to focus on my Residual Income idea now that I have the time because the third challenge is gonna be the hardest for me as a designer…

DON’T CREATE/MAKE ANYTHING ELSE

I whined…

so he said “Okay, don’t make anything new until something old is sold”

I can do that. 🙂

Now driving business to the page..and I learned it should be one page. This again, was a nice reinforcement as I somewhat already knew this. I used to have a apge for one thing, and then another page for another type and I had one prifle for one thing and one profile for another and so on. When I noticed Danielle La Porte and Susan Barconi Moe and many others were consolidating and turning everything to ONE palce to find it all, that’s when I started adopting this. I may have a few FB pages, but they all lead back to me.

My website it the same. I know (and listen up if you are not following this rule) that all your products should be able to be handled and found on ONE page. It is not good to have a page for one type of product and one page for another type. You WANT people to get to know YOU, your BRAND, who YOU are and to TRUST that brand. If you throw something new it, add it to your current brand under a different line. If your current brand or website does not embody that, then perhaps it is time for a change and time to rebirth your brand. Make your Business name or Brand so unique but simple no matter what you do could be under that brand. Thus why I am Trisha Trixie. Everything that I am falls under that. PinUp. Model. Fashionista. Blogger. Designer.

To some degree I am doing this, but since my shop sites are separate this has been where most of the confusion lies and why it has been an issue.

This has been a struggle for me which is why I was thinking oh I need a merchant account site or I need to pay and so on. How many of us in businesses like this think that way. But in the long run, I knwo there are workarounds and since WordPress.com offers FREE hosting, I have not wanted to go that route. I stare at pages like Shopify and groan thinking “but I like my site. Others like my site. Can’t I just make it better?”

Hopefully, with these changes and updates, I can.

So back to driving business to my ONE page. www.trishatrixie.com

Driving business I think is easier now that we have Social Media outlets like these…

I have seen a vast amount of upscale in sales since I have been using Twitter. But I do not have measureable goals and stats to prove that.

So that is Step Four:

Start Measuring.

Look at stats.

See what is working and what is not. Remove what is not. Make what is working better.

Hopefully, with all of this I will be able to proceed to the next level of sales. Also in cutting down what I am making perhaps it will allow me more time to work on the website idea I am doing, blog to drive more traffic, have time to write articles for magazines and start generating a different drive essentially thus again upping my sales.

Lastly,

as I said in the beginning. If you are fine with the way it is. Then that’s great. I enjoy designing, making creating,  but I want more. Or, at least I think I do. With these tips we will see if I can do things this way. I think this will also answer my questions on Passion or Business?

I realize this means not as much creating and that is the positive sacrifice I am willing to take right now.

My desire (#CDF) in the end is to be #Profitable (ned to add) and these others listed here…

I am for the path that takes me there…

My yellow brick road is mine to color, create, sparkle and lead me to however I desire to go. It is up to me to lay each brick down the right way. Otherwise I could end up in some crazy tree land with poppies that steeer me off my path.

I will find my Oz.

One way…or another…I’m gonna find it…

Xoxo Trisha Trixie

One little tidbit I found for ya as I was looking for imags to add to this. Ways to Make Gobs of Money. Check it out.

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/9-ways-gobs-money-seriously-123000074.html

July 30, 2014 by TrishaTrixie™ Categories: Lessons Learned, Trisha TrixieTags: Amazing Biz Life Academy, Big Fry, Burlesque, Business, Business Model, BusinessModel, Channels, Clients, Consignment, consumers, Consumption, Consveration, Creation, Customer Relations, Customer Segments, Customers, Desires, Digital Marketing, Distibutors, Distribution, Drive, Driving Business, Etsy, Fashion, Goods, Goodsmiths, Green Goods for the Home, Inspired Locally, Inventory, Key Activities, Key Partners, Key Resources, Leonie Dawson, Lori Greiner, Manufacturers, marketing, Measuring, Modcloth, Offers, outlets, Passion, Pin-Up, PinUp, product, Production, Products, QVC, REbel Circus, Retail, Retailers, Right Brain Business Plan, Shark Tank, Shark Tank Modcloth, Shopify, Small fry, Social Media, Square, Statistics, Trisha Trixie, TrishaTrixie, Wholesale

Highlight Reel of Lessons Learned in 2013

The lessons I have learned this year have been vast. Here is a highlight reel:

• Interns can be good or bad. Make sure you get the good ones
• Assistants can be a help or a hurt to your business. Make sure you get the ones that help you. When you find THE ONE, don’t let that one go.
• People do not often see your vision as it is generally in YOUR head. Want people to see your vision? You need to share it
• Changing course is easy for you because you see where you are going. Changing course for a team is not as easy. Again make sure you share.
• Get 75% up front or be taken when you own a small business. Many people think SMALL means WALK ALL OVER THIS ONE. Be cautious. Trust no one.
• Having a small business is super hard. don’t try it unless you are committed. (I did not say Be committed though by the end of a year running a small business you might want to be)
• Contrary to popular belief, being an entrepreneur does not mean doing what you love 100%. It means doing what you love like 10-20% if you are SUPER lucky and the rest is doing all those things you hate…like math. 🙂
• Business does NOT come to you. You have to go get it. Market, Network, Connect, Join Chamber of Commerce’s and Meet Up Groups. Go to Social Gatherings for fun or business. Putting yourself OUT THERE online or in person is like winning the Willy Wonka Golden Ticket. (Just don’t get trapped in the funhouse)
• Making connections all your life is like high school. Some people like you, some don’t, some are the cool kids, some are not, some are haters, some you hate. Make and keep the connections that you connect with. the rest will weed off and you will be left with a great grokking group
• Going to events is also like high school. There are places you don’t want to be caught dead in and places you are always trying to get in.
• Don’t push business connections. It is either gonna hppen or it won’t. Pushing is like being pushy in dating. Don’t be the crazy one.
• Enrich yourself. Connect with good coaches, read audiobooks, take e-course, listen to those who are doing it right. Ignore the ones who are doing it wrong or don’t know what they are talking about.
• Back to being like High School…it DOES matter who you hang around. Make sure you hang with the right crowd.The ones who are doing what you are doing or have what you want to have are not ones to look UP to, they are ones to LISTEN to and LEARN from.
• Remember your P’s and Q’s. When busy, stressed or frazzled this is MOST important.
• Smiling can get your through most anything.
• Music can get your though the rest.
• Your idea of something and someones elses idea of something could be different. Make sure you both are on the same page.
• Exercise your brain as well as your body. It will do both a world of good.
• Working all through the night does not work to your advantage. More mistakes seem to be made this way. Get plenty of rest. Work when you CAN’T sleep. SLEEP when you can. (I know ya all think I don’t rest but I do actually get about 4-6 hours of sleep a night)
• Make sure you PLAY and WORK. Being able to incorporate them together is awesome. But sometimes they are like arguing kids in the back of the car. You might just need to separate them. 🙂
• Let go of your electronic leash. You will be amazed at what can happen when you set electronics down.
• Be Brave. I know it’s scary but if you really want it, you have to Be Brave to get it.
• Be Fearless. Leaping when there is no net that you can see is sometimes the only way the invisible plank shows up underneath your feet.
• Be Bold. Sitting in a corner being shy will not get you where you want to go.
• Be Fabulous. You are Fabulous. It’s in you, as Gatorade says. Just do it, says Nike. All these signs and quotes are trying to tell you what you already know. Stop allowing the lies that some person told you long ago rule you. You ARE Fabulous. Now own it. Walk that catwalk, Baby and strut your stuff!

I am sure there are many, many more, but I just wanted to jot down the ones that REALLY stuck out in my mind.

Have any to add? Please comment here on on Facebook. I ALWAYS love to hear your thoughts and suggestions.

My 2014 is filled with Road Maps, signs and play by plays that I plan on paying a LOT more attention to so hopefully I don’t have such HARD lessons next year. Regardless, all lessons are good ones because they teach us.

Happy New Year Everyone! Be Fabulous!

Trisha Trixie

 

December 31, 2013 by TrishaTrixie™ Categories: Fashion Fabulous, Lessons LearnedTags: Willy Wonka Golden Ticket